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    July 10

    还剩下些什么?

        点点已经连续好些天在开门的时候往外窜,是在找人吗?人们说狗的感觉最灵敏,它首先会尝出吃了8年的饭味道变化,然后无论在门口蹲多久再也听不到熟悉的只有它能分辨的脚步声。点点在找主人,也许它习惯了我一年在家几天的时间,但是另外一个朝夕相处的人,显而易见不是那么容易淡忘。
        2008年7月10号。离妈妈车祸去世22天。
        离家太久?亲情淡漠?抑或我本来就是冷血动物?妈妈的离开,仿佛很遥远的事情。我是个懦弱的人,我害怕一切突如其来的惊吓,创伤,爆炸……但对于可以看见可以判断可以明确的事情,我却老是无动于衷。所以在应该悲痛的时候,好像吝惜着眼泪,事不关己地清醒着。俗话说时间会冲淡一切,但对我来说,时间才是最要命的回忆毒药。
        爸爸上班去了,晚上的工作让他劳累却好像也让他可以暂时忘却。牙龈发炎,一整天不想说话。不想开灯。抱着双腿把头埋在里面,32度的室内温度全身颤抖着起鸡皮疙瘩。思想乱飞,从小到大,妈妈。灶台,客厅,卧室……妈妈习惯把所有东西都放得整整齐齐。她睡过的枕头用过的碗碟看过的杂志。只是出了趟远门吧,还会回来的。还会的。
       
     

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